18th Sunday after Pentecost

Jeremiah 11:18-20; Psalm 54; James 3:13—4:3, 7-8a; Mark 9:30-37 

Mark 9:30-37

³⁰[Jesus and the disciples went on] and passed through Galilee. He did not want anyone to know it; ³¹for he was teaching his disciples, saying to them, “The Son-of-Man is to be betrayed into human hands, and they will kill him, and three days after being killed, he will rise again.” ³²But they did not understand what he was saying and were afraid to ask him.
 ³³Then they came to Capernaum; and when Jesus was in the house he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the way?” ³⁴But they were silent, for on the way they had argued with one another who was the greatest. ³⁵He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.” ³⁶Then he took a little child and put it among them; and taking it in his arms, he said to them, ³⁷“Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.”

. . .

Spiritual Adulting

Grace to you, beloved of God, and peace from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Arrow, the baby beagle, is growing up. He has been with us for ten weeks now and is doing great. He is at least a couple of inches longer and taller. Not only is his body growing, but also his ability to understand certain things. For instance, if he bites my flip-flops instead of playing with the 242 toys he has, he will get a stern rebuke from yours truly and spend some extra time out in the kitchen by himself. Baby beagle does not like that at all. That is for negative reinforcement. For positive reinforcement, he has understood that if he pees in the dog pad, he gets a delicious dog treat. He gets two delicious dog treats if he holds the pee and waits to be taken outside. He gets three delicious dog treats if he holds it, and both pee and poop outside. He got all that already. He sits by the table in the kitchen corner where the treats are made that face. I did what I was supposed to do; now feed me. 

Our relationship is growing, too. We are beginning to understand the baby beagle. We have had big, long-coat German shepherds for over twenty years. Yes, baby beagles are different. We have learned, for instance, that they remain childish way beyond the two-year-old mark when they would be considered adults. Beagles apparently spend most of their adult lives still doing some of the same things they did as puppies. Adulting seems to be a constant thing for them.

Adulting is something that we, generation X and millennials, at least, joke about a lot. I will give you an example. When you finally and consistently move your clothes from the washer to the dryer before they get smelly and you have to wash them again, that is adulting. When you stop eating boxed food and pizza – hot or cold – every meal and decide to put some home-cooked meals together, that is adulting. When you prepare the meal and load the dishwasher, leaving the kitchen counters and sink clean for the next morning, THAT is adulting. 

Adulting then becomes a totally new ball game when you are sharing the same living space with someone else because they are adulting differently. What is an acceptable compromise for one is absurd to the other. When two or three are adulting together, things can get troubling initially, but if they stay in the relationship, with some mutual gentleness, yielding, and forgiveness, they can adult together in a relationship. It usually takes some time.

I read a book for a class in seminary called Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown. The premise of the book is that growing up is a lifetime journey. Basically, we are still adulting all the way until our last years. Not only do we become more and more emotionally mature of our life-long experiences, but the more we adult in relationships with others, the more we understand their emotional needs and the boundaries that they need. Someone is in an emotionally healthy situation when the person understands that each person in a relationship is unique, and yet they are connected by that relationship. New relationships bring new learnings and understanding about the other, and from that comes the need to keep growing oneself up. 

Make no mistake. Adulting, or growing up alongside others, is usually very hard and exhausting, depending on the person and the situation. When you finally figure most things out, then someone new comes in. That can throw everything off. Yet, that is the nature of the body of Christ.

Discipleship, according to our great commission in Matthew 28, go and make disciples … begins with go. The body of Christ began and is always on the move. That means that faith communities are constantly experiencing departures and new arrivals. Each person that departs leaves behind a void, and every person that arrives brings their own uniqueness. All of a sudden, a new period of adjustment begins, and those new relationships may take some time to adjust to each other. In the meantime, it is like St. James says: some gentleness, willingness to yield, and forgiveness may go a long way. The body of Christ needs everyone sent to us. Especially these days. Welcoming the uniqueness of each person and remaining faithfully connected with them may be what a faith community needs to bear fruit. That would be a sign of spiritual maturity, or adulting, if you will. 

The disciples in the gospel scene clearly have some spiritual adulting left to do in our gospel scene today. It’s understandable; Jesus is a totally new thing for them to adjust to. It’s hard for them to fully comprehend what he is up to before they experience the cross and the resurrection. After the Peter fiasco, when Jesus disclosed his true destiny for the first time, they were obviously hesitant to ask what it measures to be betrayed, killed, and rise again. I suspect any of us would be, too. 

The funny thing is that what the disciples end up doing instead. After witnessing many dismissal times in the preschool, the image that occupies my mind is the kids trying to outshout each other on who will be the leader, the first in line out of the classroom. That is totally pre-schoolers. Nonetheless, those were some grown men following Jesus around.

No wonder he likely takes a deep breath and presents them with the image of the little child. It might take a lifetime to fully comprehend what it means and what it takes to pick up the cross and follow him. In the meantime, Jesus still welcomes our spiritual adulting. He died for the ungrown disciples then and for you and me, here and now, so his body can grow together, so we may always learn to welcome what God is doing among us. Amen.